visible time

visible time
I lost it to blindness
whole hours
different ages
had it all sorted somewhere in seventh sky
condensed in crystal jars
collected before each sunrise
whole gallery
tribute to past and present
in case I need it
for an endless new life
or to create master universe with its
awakened
custom future
formation that never happened to any stars
till recently
somewhere at the very end of my mind
first

I am born
to lose it though

life still at 21

22 years later
I am still 21
as if I were 33 again
recovering from time
at almost 51
the incurable disease All get from eternity
upstairs
where lesbians had loud
unconventional sex
that kept me awake at night
drums
echoing
down the rivers of Past
I refuse to believe
I walked through

prayer to biological parents

mother
thank you for woman’s womb
where my father and husband to you
as you were his wife
placed his seed
so I could be the son
of both flesh humans
naturally cloned with love
of painfully mine biological parents
whose caring souls
familiar portals from Above
watched over me more than any other foreign entity
time after time of these dimensions
safe from intrusions of school
government
street
idiot box and web
hate and aggression
of this manipulated world
I came to witness for a moment
for eternal God

enough
I feel used
most subtle programming
patented changes
make imagery unbearable here

numbers

Whenever numbers
manifest
with an avalanche force in my life
surprising me with their determination to be powerfully imprinted
into my mind and brilliance
of many ways in which they happen
to enter my consciousness
I mentally prepare myself for unpredictable extent
of Italian Che Sara Sara
and American In God We Trust
as it is always indication of a powerful change
including death
no enlightenment is greater
or sense of belonging
If you did good
good is difficult

I remain humble
knowing
the other side started paying attention to me again
to keep me in a state of preparedness for the Sudden Unknown
(it’s hidden purpose, it’s goodness for my soul: the real life)
that is breath away and thus
giving me all the trust in the Great Design
its wisdom
I need to stay calm and not worry
Whatever future brings I know
it is my future
not a mistake

They do again

Niech będzie pochwalony
Dzień w którym byłem urodzony
I noc
która oddała mi swój świt
W całej tej ciemności

salvation

I always have second thoughts
sharp
foreign
waiting in ambush
to fight the first wave of thoughts
whom they believe to be blind followers
of me

my second thoughts hate me
and will fight me to death
of that first wave I have sent out as scouts
to find them
buy time
let my decision catch a breath
still
hidden
but intently watching the battlefield
for my salvation

the moment I get home

prayers in the dead of the night
get interactive
music travels up and down the stream
freed
young river
suddenly cascading
over wandering stars
still
as loud in its mouth


Quo vadis?
you
here
if not to the source of all words
the river wants to whisper
before silent grace of an ocean

as I waked from Kalergi plan into Babylon

“Wherever I go is here
Unless I walk out of myself to be everywhere
to focus on formula for works
that make me
My father was born in 1933
I was born in 1966
Half way between 9/1
And 9/11
wars
of surface calendar
My mother was a Virgo
My father was a Scorpio
When I was born my father was 33
When I was 33
I was dating love of my life
I was a Virgo
She was a Scorpio
11 years younger light

When I was 6
I started calculating what year It will be when I am 33
while walking to school
in Warsaw
little kid
1999
Voice
Intelligence that follows told me I would live in US
And I always knew 33 to be a borderline
lost myself on its other side
since money was not the answer
or women
I died 11 years later
When I was 44
Woke up from death knowing
The rest of my life
Just like when I landed at O’Hare at 23
In 1989
when the love of my life was 11

I did try to fly back the same night
too late
the day after has not risen yet”

that’s what you will see written
On my sign
when I am homeless
begging for money
To help you make it to fake heaven
As real heaven’t

consider it a favor
The most I can do to save you
or it will always hunt  me
I begged for nothing

 

Sunday prayer to Lunar Easter

Before we bathe in human blood again
as a human now
the animal pains mine in this time and its many cages
consciousness trapped with trivial beliefs
I
however down of this plain Earth and limited
with senses of an ape, I
disagree
on their side
with exchange rate
Mercy them
Mercy them please
not me
As I
of Us
intend
to never die in this body

XL

biker jacket
leather
for sale
XL
barely used
great condition
broke few bones in it
hit a curb
bus stop
beat up a guy or two
original price was in English pounds
I can’t remember
I was drunk with her and spring of 1989
asking $300 now
pick up at funeral home
maggots wearing it would not be fair
cash
old school
you can still smell her lipstick
if you hit a curb
or bus stop
she whispers too
always did
always will

come on

memory is a bitch
You can use memory to bury dead while they are still alive
just not present
there are days when many dead come back
walking their paths from ten
twenty
thirty years ago
so different from what life made of them
you lose track of Now
looking into their eyes
in front of numb you
surprised and quiet

this is when Past tells me
last Thursdays
sooner of later come back
but never really manage to make next Wednesdays obsolete
or Mays dancing on the graves of Januaries
so wrong and naive
sick
take 1965  in Nam
resurrected

come on
this is not even this life