The Most Beautiful One

No luck with women today.
The Most Beautiful One doesn’t work today, I am sending her an e-mail now. The customer woman was young and sexy but came with a husband and cute, little baby, so the works have been performed on her already with a great success, the girl in the sauna was lesbian (yes, the other girl was her boyfriend) I am left with no choice but to look at the naked picture of a girl I have picked up on match(dot)com for my buddy and he was merciful enough to forward it to me (men!!!). Her intelligent and dark eyes made me think about my last ex. I sent her an e-mail and now we talk again. At some point I have to tell her I am dying so she doesn’t take me too serious. That’s why I broke up with her in the first place- to spare her my funeral. She still doesn’t know. My aim is to burn in a perfect body. The one I used to have when I came to US. I don’t want my blubber burnt to hit the city like they do in Sweden, when they burn people, as energy source. No blubber left.
I guess I will be writing in a coffee shop till I need to go and pick up a friend tonight. He intends to drink and I am his designated driver. I also have a designated driver, invisible One. He drives me everyday since childhood. At first I was really…scared, then annoyed…but after meeting him with his friend … I consider him my friend as well and his friend is my friend now too. They somehow know what I am doing when I don’t as if they were part of my future. They tell me not to listen to doctors. Clowns.
Actually one keeps silent and watches, the other one does all the talking. To me and through me. Depending on the mood of the fake world we think we create for real. We do, just not for real. The key word is fate. On a mass level I call fate – higher scenario.
Higher scenario is not for everybody. Higher scenario is for selected few. It is painful to be shown its chapters. You realize what a dumb ass you are among millions of dumb, desperate asses. Improvisation in consciousness – all we are – desperate for any answers – mostly wrong. There are no answers at this level.
On a personal level – can a woman even imagine what a man..walking out of this dimension is eager to do to her and for her …knowing it is his farewell sex. Physical Human Goddess is not a word good enough to describe who she becomes. This civilization is trying to take it away from women. Abortion, latest epidemic, cloning of humans, porn, dumb television shows. No luck with women tonight. Unless I talk to the one next table. Maybe her mind can be exciting. Maybe. I now get tired of dumbness, it wasn’t the case in the past. I was a good listener. They told me – when I was a young journalist – you will be perfect for interviewing people – you are a great listener. I am but now I only have time left to listen to the voices in my head. Forgot about Queen of US as well. Can’t deal with idiots around her. I only wanted her to befriend few people before I seize here. I have an amazing eye for special people, I didn’t want her to go to a waste among idiots. I hope she doesn’t. That’s all. I have a good record of elevating people. Can’t help only myself. Fate. Don’t we all get to learn at some point how easy it is to waste a new, perfect otherwise life?
And once you learn it – why is it so painful to watch The Most Beautiful Ones among us do that?  Beauty comes from within. Cross your within , will you? There is still time, if you read this. I took my medicines now, so I am getting fucked for an hour. An hour and life are the same unit. Enjoy every minute of both. Minute and eternity are one unit.
Timewise all units are the same.