I have gone a long way
from my father’s child
to my father’s father
in one life
both
exposures to light

exposures
I will have to put to sleep one day
by not having a child of my own
but being all of us
that would make me a cemetery
of blood
living for nothing

I was born
and with me my whole world came to be
the skies
the rain
my luck
my face
my leafs
the ground I stand on
and quiet thoughts I answer with
the radiance from Above

I am a tree
in love

I was walking through an abandoned apartment building
stinking rental cages
that my friend has bought
and was about to demolish
African Americans lived in them
now Pilgrims
marked their territory here
through new townhouses
will make a profit on financially able
other Americans

you have to be careful
here
watch out for homeless people with brains damaged by drugs
or people running from law  hiding their past and present faces

once
I came upon a couple sleeping on a mattress
he suddenly stood up
high
took his bird out
pissed on the mattress next to his woman
went back to sleep
on the very spot
I guess I was just some sick white dream to him
the other time
at night
I came upon a man
watching me
hiding behind a pillar
just a shape in the darkness
with a knife in his hand
Puerto Rican
scared
scared means dangerous
but I calmed him down
“relax, I am not the police I am the owner
make sure you don’t set the place on fire ”
he did calm down because of my Polish accent
patient confidence and truth
but I stepped back ready for blood anyway
he hesitated
said
“take it easy
I need two days and I am out of here”
we talked more
I like honesty
never reported the man
on the run

but nothing has prepared me for the place
I was walking through now
two dead people on a cross
each on its own
black rosary and white rosary
on the floor
right in front of me
plastic
but still painful to watch

carefully
I have picked them up
carried to my car
both
hanging on the rear view mirror now

I feel Mexican when I look at them
why do I feel Mexican
because of plastic Jesus?
black and white
for more safety
in case I get into an accident
or I am pulled off
for sudden emergency
of next life

(dedicated to Sea Sanctuary)

I am not a heroin user
and I am not a cocaine user
they get opium now for America
from where they planted the wars
now also
I am not an opium user
I am a life user and life can by a drug
if you love it
or a drag if you don’t
because depending on life
you didn’t want (but took anyway)
you might become unbalanced
in need
of something to hold on to
your mind can go to many places
in many directions
shallower
further
respected or not
mind is an ocean
boats are the magic
navigare necesse est

I believe I would be sailing it with them in England
if I stayed
or sailed to Indochina
and used my life in Asia quietly
because life
always
starts inside of you
once taken

I am just a function of time
distance
from nowhere to nowhere else
blind run among other men
with the speed of thoughts
into each night out of body
that left them behind
invisible
leaving one by one
my world

I miss the promise though
of seeing you
of slowing down
of turning
into the light
each morning