I told the man in the mirror to change his mind
which after consideration he of course did
but he lied about it to himself
so I see no change in his reflection in me
not even a difference between the glassy eye
I use to look inside
and the window I use to look outside of who I am
the mountain range is still on the horizon
the ocean is vast and deep
love is alien and unheard of
many other things that confuse my inverted landscape

I buried mirror face in my iron hands
hoping to break it into tears
it didn’t work
no emotions were drawn or bled now as ever before

and what would I do with so much drama
on my path anyway
or him for that matter?
besides, I already know all his lies about his latest death and about seeing things in a new light
as far as me
I am slowly getting used to the sturdy composure of an old age
alien monolith I have become
it feels good to know
I possess the patience to remain silent
the problem being
I don’t recall which silence I used to brace that new mind of his

would I be selfish
if I expected
trees to stop climbing to stars
waves to stop wanting to crash
Moon to stop breaking through the thickest night
calendars to stop navigating our minds through time
after I died?
a funeral procession takes many spectators
well
I expect none
just my body and the undertaker
working overtime for few bucks
me
being here late
free of myself
and for fun in the afterworld
him
to make ends meet
a full circle of life
on the cemetery
funeral bells
for both of us
tolling irony

would I be selfish
if I expected to die last
of my family
so only I suffered through every single loss of life
but mine?
anyway
mine is another story
unfollowed by everybody
except maybe for the trees that climb to the stars
waves that crash
and Moon that shines through the night
I don’t think calendars count
chariots of time get buried with us
calendars die
from exposure to humans

Lord
in a position of power over me
true
veteran
of every crime on humanity
I forgive you
and I am human
hurt and enslaved at the dawn of the New Era
You are dying to watch
as we will die for

Lord
I hide from nothing
I have been through this path many lives before
You see
everything
this life
is special to me
this infection with flesh
blood
with needle and expiration date
will You ever understand Now
You Eternal
will you comprehend death
alienation from the taste of words
thoughts
sound of baby steps into pain
from all this annoying free will
pound for pound
day by day
acts of magic against
down-to-Earth beads of chaos
scattered on the ground?

what did You expect from
organisms with lesser brains and greater souls

Lord

I am not integrating with You
I am fading away into a howling abyss
abandoning places and people
abandoning chances
will You ever understand
or will You remain inhuman
God-like
and in the end, I will be left to myself
to cease

…

Panie
w pozycji władzy nade mną
prawdziwy weteranie każdego przestępstwa na ludzkości
wybaczam Ci
choć jestem człowiekiem
jak inni ludzie zranieni i samotni o świcie nowej ery
za którą umieramy

Panie
Nie uciekam przed niczym
przeszedłem tę ścieżkę wiele żyć wcześniej
Ty widzisz wszystko
to istnienie jest dla mnie niezwyczajne
ta niebywała infekcja ciałem
krwią
igłą i datą ważności
czy kiedykolwiek zrozumiesz Teraz
Ty wieczny
czy pojmiesz wyobcowanie z kształtu słów
myśli
ze ślepych kroków w ból
z całej tej irytującej wolnej woli i każdego aktu magii lub przyziemnego losu zwanego przeznaczeniem
konaniem

Panie
odchodzę w otchłań jęku
porzucając miejsca i ludzi
rezygnując z szans
czy kiedykolwiek to zrozumiesz czy pozostaniesz
nieludzko Boski
i w końcu ostatecznym znajdę się sam

trees keep quiet
they won’t tell who sang
and who choked on blood

no matter which
the song or blood described

walls remain somber
they won’t tell who flew off
and who crashed to the ground

even if the bluest sky fell on its knees to ask

it takes us