dzień
tamten dzień
jego bolesna stygmata  i zapach rozpalonego słońca
powrociły do mnie po dwudziestu jeden latach nieżycia
ten dzień oddał mi to samo zawieszenie swiatła  i powietrza
ten sam wiatr poniósł mój szept
to samo szczęscie opętało nas ciepłem
ciebie  tylko gdzieś pozostawił po drodze
w popękanej dolinie czasu
twoj śmiech
ramiona
i usta
Cała ta bezbronna miłość ciągle we mnie kona
i konać będzie ze mną do końca dni każdego świata
nad  którym przechodzę do porządku rzeczy martwych bez ciebie
Aniele w kobiecie
ten dzień
to bylo święto wniebowzięcia
cielesności ludzkiego istnienia

***
***
***

that innocent day
that bearing date
its stigma and scent came back to me after twenty-one years of death
returned to the shadow I am
it gave me the same blossoming Sun
the same warmth filled my head
the same softness and breeze played on my dead face
but somehow
it left you out somewhere along the way
your laugh
your touch
your trance of happiness

the helpless love of that innocent day
is still dying in me
and it will be in me until the end
of every single world over which
I move on without you
Goddess
in a woman, I met then

soon after
funeral crows have flown into my heart
past collapsed
their desperate wings still beat against delicate walls of crystal ball

that bearing date
was an ascension holiday
of the carnality of human condition

you can’t save yourself from yourself
deny the day firmament of the night
futile efforts
son of man
nothing is real you anymore
but the wall
the stone of your face
the circle of death in every path you take
you alone
are following the last days with nails in your hands
look
she might have an answer
and take away the pain
crown you earned
Nevertheless think twice before giving up control
of the living blood you are
for Christ’s sake
let the rage of a wild animal
caught in a mortal snare
not the silence of the darkest hour
be the sign of change

Inside and out
I’m rotten
blood
carrier
fallen in the sands of the Earth
shred of aching
tainted meat
forgotten pathfinder and catalyst
who are you
watching my pain and suffering
in the cage of time?
answer me

September is such a glorious month
to bear fruit
revive stars and the whole universe
not death

I want my Light back

ray from a place
that doesn’t exist yet
the future world is a better place
with me in it
Seth
control yourself

dear authorities
thank you for reviewing cycles of my insanity so quickly
I greatly appreciate your interest in my mental disability
and that besides issues with my large weight and high blood pressure
I bet your agent can help me subscribe to your monthly newsletter
full of valuable information on convenient ways to hang me
or shoot bystanders at the nearest covid-19 test sites
as well as other dedicated to public safety distancing centers
which include but are not limited to
pretty much everywhere in this thrifty municipality
These stubborn individuals surely deserve that
for not wearing protective tampon faces properly
federal government and Jesuits recommend
I always knew you would provide me with the confidence to act myself out
and resist
resist
resist normalcy
in a spectacularly useful to high society and local administration way
as locking me up on a funny farm would be a very undesirable change
in a policy to keep this city ghetto-enclosed
sick
and overdosed on heroin and of course
Whiteness Is Indefensible
Black Lives Matter
Marxism is great if you run out of crack
and yes
ABC
CNN
FOX
please take formal notes as
few sporadic murders will immediately follow this short thank you letter
to democratically and carefully selected by numerous others African mayor
and her white freak “fille de joie” I admire with all my heart
for making me look normal
sharp and collected

I know the Truth
glorious and beautiful
path through Patience
and I am not afraid of you
on the contrary
be afraid of me
deafening
Illuminated Silence
finally you are as quiet as surprised
to see me being consumed by fire
burnt into a diamond

wild guess
the only problem I have ever had with this life
is that it ends in an alien expanse called Eternity
behind the veil
out of touch
but I have been walking on the very edge between the two worlds
the two fairy-tales
the whole time
perceptible
painful steps since biological childhood
and out of this fate
this process
program
beyond annoying protein quest
the longest suicide watch I humbly
recollect
but the wait is over
chains broke off my neck
and it ends
this uncomfortable
transient form
corruptible flesh converts back into luminous shine
didn’t I tell you?
God is Great
He whispers
what screams in me with flames