Too Polish to be a loser.

On the days that I would call bad  because of what I am about to describe I feel this way about not seeing you.
This music reflects the feeling perfect.
And of course this is telepathic sexual harassment I have no control over.
I am an expert on telepathic sexual harassment through experience.
It is rare that I do it but I do it because it is in me. I know who is calling me before I answer the phone or look at the number because this person has been thinking about calling me. As long as the thoughts were present – I sense them, if I were the subject. I know when I am in danger because people that are angry at me – are thinking about hurting me. I sense their convulsions.
I know when to call my friends or family members. They say:
– I was just going to call you.
– I know.
I also sense if I can win a chess game with someone before I start to play. It is a form of mind reading.
I am imagining that I am kissing your neck now. It is legal.
I hope your boyfriend does it all the time. Only then you know what I am writing about.
God messed up so bad.
OK. I will write the truth and total truth now.
I believe you are part of my recovery through suffering caused by all the elements I would normally need being impossible.
That’s why I said one year.
That was hope.
Hope is for losers.
That’s why I keep doing what I said I would. Because I can be down but I will not be a loser. I am too Polish to be a loser.

ps.
More truth.
If you really want to know how I feel sometimes about what is happening in my mind on days like this, open another window and play this music simultaneously but start the second video 11 seconds after you started the first one. It is more how it feels. I do that all the time with certain pieces of music. At times here, you will hear a heartbeat.