The saying goes like this: “klina klinem wybijaj”. I would translate it like that: “remove splinter with splinter”.
Old and trusted method. We also say” Dała ci wkręta do głowy” of which poor translation would be “she put a screw in your had”.
Your image is my screw. I am screwed. In my head. But I am also tough. I sent an-email to my ex.
Over the past five years we had three communications. After she went back Poland, her father bought her an apartment in Cracow.
Cracow is more expensive than Chicago.
She sent me an e-mail that she loves me and she wants me to come back to start a new. I did not. Her e-mail had two pages. Mine two sentences.
The second e-mail she sent few years later which was couple of months ago, was asking only if I were still alive because she had a dream I died.
“I didn’t die. All is OK”. Both are lies.
She went quiet. Which I wanted. Few days ago I sent her an e-mail telling her I loved her. I strongly felt like doing it. Because I have always loved her from the first sight, she is a very beautiful woman, she was probably one of the most beautiful woman in Chicago when she lived here, quite similar looking to the new brunette you have at the coffee shop, just with greater sex-appeal. I am talking about inner beauty though. Physical comes as an option. Her option was stunning.
She did not respond till yesterday.
When I met her, it was she who hit on me, (I just came back from North Shore on Oahu after a month there into ugly Chicago winter) she was not talented. At 20 she was already a mature and great artist. Made Americans at her art school look like puppies, retarded puppies with rich parents. I was paying 25 thousand for each semester as she was on a student visa. It was love at first site. She didn’t know I had money and never left because I lost it. Similar feelings took over me, when I saw you. It is chemistry, on my part. I really didn’t like how you reacted when M. came with me in Maserati. She would ignore him. These are most of the time extensions to whatever is their problem. Losers love sport cars. Knew few of them with Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Maseratis.
I am not sure why I sent that e-mail to her. I thought I was sending it because of you, because of my screw in the head but that would be an easy excuse as I read more signs than through the tip of my dick. I felt like I had to do that not for myself but for her. She responded last night. Right after she was released from a hospital. Had a cyst removed from her breast. She is twenty nine. I think. Too early for that. That’s why by the way I hate Sturbuck’s, for support of GMOs, for lying to Americans. Son of the bitches. GMOs do cause cancer. It is proven.
Because I loved her I had to let her go. She paints and designs, as I hoped she would. My girl. I am a very confused individual today. On my birthday. I am a Virgo, she is a Taurus. The Associate is Taurus. My ex partner is Taurus. My best friend in high-school was Taurus. In college – another one. University Tauruses. Tauruses and Scorpios all over my life – men and women.  Ann – Scorpio, Margret Scorpio, Margret II Scorpio. My father – Scorpio, my mother Virgo. My grandmother Virgo. Tauruses, Scorpio and Virgos. But then when I worked as a help in shelter for homeless this girl asked me what sign I was. I said Virgo. She disagreed. Bring me the date and hour of your birth. I saw her next week. Sorry, you are more of a Lio, Robert. Virgo is a camouflage. They will never know what they are facing.
My girl has a little baby which she probably mentioned to make sure I didn’t hit on her too hard. She still loves me but … I am gone for the image of you, while she has a man everyday and it is terrible to live with someone every day. That’s why they have invented that mental institution called marriage.

– Come in the kitchen, Robert, please, have something to drink, sit down.
I sat down, she sat down. We are looking at each other.
– So thank you, you come Robert, I trust only you.
– Don’t say that.
– No, no. no. Only you. So it is working?
– Yes.
– How do you know?
– I know.
– OK.OK. drink, drink Robert.
I poured a glass of mineral water and drank. She felt better after I did.
It is very hot, Robert. What do you think, no more problems?
– No. It was just thermostat. It was set too high.
-OK. I trust you, Robert. Call your guy not to come then.
– I already did.
She sights. So can you take a look at water meter?
– Yes. Lets’ do it.
Ten minutes later we are in the kitchen again. I know she needs to talk to someone, so sitting with her by the kitchen table I am. Talking.
Water in the glass is cold enough, weather too hot, city charges too much for water. It must be leaking.
If she needs a repair and I send someone, I must come with him. Which I don’t mind because I like this woman.
She says Robert with her French accent so sweet, it reminds me Octavie.
Octavie trusted everyone though.
And this old lady in front of me, trusts me because I had a French girl-friend from Paris. That’s why she trusts only me and I didn’t even tell her
Octavie, like her, was Jewish. That would be exploitation, I think.
-You see, I teach all my children to speak French.
-I see.
– I trust only you Robert.
– Please, don’t say that.
– Yes, Yes Roberr, I never touch it, never.
– OK. I will set it a little lower.
The air-conditioning kicked in.
– oh, it works.
– yes, it does.
I felt like her son because of the way she looked at me.
It felt good. Someone still trusts me. I went to Kaufman’s later to get lox on everything bagel.
Earl Grey would be nice but they don’t have it there.
What I was doing – I was buying my tea and kept the cup with tea bags to use it one more time in the evening.
That’s in the past now.

Utila in Honduras. I was negotiating a house with a coffee shop, ice-cream  parlor and …?… fax, phones, internet, copiers place. Island’s Kinko’s.
Someone else got it.
http://mango-inn.com/en
The apartment upstairs had a huge deck overlooking the bay. My friend was a scuba instructor for a couple of years there. I was going to scuba-dive everyday with the shop he used to work for.
The seller would not go down with the price. Year later he sold it for eighty thousand less than I was offering him. Some schmuck from California. Too proud to call me to make a deal.
So we are in America. Me and my shadow. I was listening to Rage against the Machine before Americans knew who they were.
I was listening to Rammstein before Germans knew who they were.
I have been always listening to my heart before I consult with my brain. I harass myself a lot this way. I trust my heart when it comes to recognition of what is important.
My heart tells me to run for US presidency.

I have understood my attraction to you today. It was not the physique that much, youth, beauty (things old vampires love), but I must admit the way you move (especially when you laugh) is very unique and don’t ever change please.
I have seen and talked to a lot of attractive women over the past half a year. Got a little addicted to you though. Only you. It is bad. I quit you now but I just wanted to explain it to myself, this attraction, and I finally did.
We see women through the prism of experiences with our mothers. My mother was constantly laughing, joking, making people love her in a most natural, platonic way. She was also very beautiful. When I was a kid or teenager, all my buddies would envy me because of the mother, I had. Our house was always full of them. That was her spell over most men, any age really. She would always find ways to be liked and accepted, understood and understand others. Love and laughter – that’s my mothers’s sur le vivre. Half of my male teachers would hit on her or call her to school because of my behavior as an excuse, just to talk to her. She has never cheated on my father. She should have. He did.
And when I watched you – I have found a very similar soul in you, a very rare occurrence, gem (uninhabited? would be the word?). She had no father (murdered at the end of WW II by NKVD). She was one year old when that happened.  Loved men, trusted them like one would trust father. Needed them around. Never used them.
(too much). :).
I was attracted to your élan because I was brought to understand the world through hers, very similar. And it kept me alive since twenty one when I left her.
Took 60 dollars to look for someone like her in the world out there. It would be ten Earl Greys with a croissant at your place, each sip feeling like home. I am calling her now.
I need to talk to her. In the evening I have a dinner with a woman, who is like her sister. Very reserved. Complicated.
That sixty bucks I spent the first day in London and a Mexican gave me a ticket to a free dinner (the next day) at a Harri Krishna shrine.
It was kind of natural. I gave a lot of my precious 0 Rh-  blood when they had an Earthquake in Mexico. I almost went Harri Harri.
But then I found a job with a Russian Jew from Hollywood who was an interior designer (a famous one) and whole days we discussed movie scripts while making fools of Swiss and others, who were buying real estate in London. Too bad he was a cheap ass. We had some good ideas. What was the lesson of London? Accent doesn’t
matter – it is what you say. So I am not pissing my pants when I hear dudes from Brixton or Kensington Gardens speaking English, like most Americans do.
And I love Irish. It is all in my book about  you. Woman.
I hate writing.

Geldof will say the rest. I think he killed that guy from INXS (somehow). Women. Women. Got the idea for my first article on my Blog. (Instead of Magazines you can read it sometime).
“I AM RUNNING FOR US PRESIDENT TO SAVE TIME”.