Ask her

-God, you have promised to make one woman for each man.
I am not an Arab. I will be OK with one.  Could I please have this one?
– For how long?
– God, don’t ask me, ask her.
– She doesn’t want any old man.
– I see.
– Don’t get upset. Believe in me. Is one night enough?
– Doing what?
– The usual: sex in bed, Jacuzzi, on the kitchen table, island, area rug, window seal.
– No.
– Two nights? One week, two weeks? Hawaii, Bahamas? What do you want?
– How about two years of talking to her once a week for ten minutes?
– Is that all?
– Yes.
– Are you sure?
– Yes.
– Listen Bob. Don’t ask me, ask her. That’s sounds fair.
For all the stuff you will give her.
– What would that be, God? I have nothing now.
– She will become immortal. What is her name?
– Ashley.
– You son of a bitch, you always pick the best, what about the other men?
– You are jealous, God, aren’t you? Admit it.
– A little. I spent a lot of time on this one. Did you see her with no make up?
– Yes.
– She doesn’t need it, right?
– Right. Excellent job, God.
– Thank you Bob. I tried. I really tried with this one. Did you like her laugh?
– She laughs like no one else on this planet.
– Of course not. I got few ideas from Venus, even Cassiopeia.
– I see. So? What about me?
– Tell me you believe in me.
– I do.
– Thanks, I am a shallow God and you are so similar, Bob. So similar I sometimes think you are my son.
– I had a father.
– I know, I know. Another lucky son of a bitch. Got your mother.
– What about Ashley?
– Bob, my dear and loyal friend, how about this:  you die, I will have you reborn in 9 months and you will have her at twenty.
She will be what, forty two, forty five? Are you OK with it?
– God, you have just made my day. What would I be?
– Well. Let me think. You will be a handsome model because she is going to be a famous photographer by then and she will hire you.
– Could we have sex then, in the studio, right away?
– Sure, Bob, you dummie. I love to watch. You – at twenty and Ashley forty five, that’s why I made this place, stupid, that’s why.
– But how will I look? Will she love me?
– Just like you did. Just like you did Bob. I spent a lot of time on you. I still do. In other areas. It is just the timing. I got the timing wrong. I am sorry, Bob, you have to go through this.
– Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again, OK?
– OK. How do you want to die?
– Well. .. I become the first, officially foreign born US President and during my first visit to Israel I am killed in a terror attack blamed of Egyptian terrorists.
– That’s a problem. I have run out of terrorists from Egypt. How about you are kidnapped by Space Aliens who have just started invasion of Earth?
– Just kill me off with a flue shot.
– There is no dignity in going this way, Bob. I thought you would want something special, bombastic.
– I sail around the world and disappear in Bermuda Triangle.
– Come on. It was good thirty years ago. You are an astronaut meant to land on the Moon and you burn in a cabin fire before the launch.
– Sounds like a hoax. Airplane crash?
– We had too many this year. Maybe next year.
– Can’t wait that long. What if I freeze during expedition to South Pole?
– There is no South Pole.
– I am kidnapped while driving through Area 51?
– By who?
– Mexican drug lords?
– No. I like Mexicans. Can you wait till tomorrow, Bob? I have to sleep over this one.
– Can I talk to her at least?
– Only telepathically. It is more honest. What time?
– I will send her a thought of me at Noon today.
– What will it say?
– That I miss her.
– Don’t do that. Call Veronica instead. It is healthier.
-No.
– What do you want to do today, then?
– write something good.
– why?
– that’s my plan B.
– and?
– she knows. God, she knows.
– I know she knows.
– Is she scared?
– No. She is thinking you are a nut.
– Am I a nut God?
– You are a lot like me. Unpredictable but good.
– That’s because she doesn’t know me.
– She possibly will. Give it time.
– Jesus. I feel like I am infected with time, time here, time there, time everywhere, time as an epidemic. Take me out of it. Cure me.
– Tomorrow, Bob. We will talk about it tomorrow.
– Where is tomorrow?
– Here, waiting.
– for what?
– for me. Let me talk to tomorrow now. I will mention you. And Ashley. I promise.